Can a trust reward marriage or parenting milestones?

The question of whether a trust can reward marriage or parenting milestones is increasingly common as estate planning evolves beyond simply distributing assets, and towards incentivizing behaviors aligned with a family’s values; the answer is a resounding yes, with careful planning and drafting.

What are Incentive Trusts and How Do They Work?

Incentive trusts, also known as “carrot and stick” trusts, are designed to distribute assets based on the fulfillment of specific criteria set by the grantor, the person creating the trust. These criteria can range from educational achievements and charitable contributions to, as your question posits, marriage or parenting milestones. According to a 2023 study by the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, approximately 15% of new trusts include some form of incentive provision. These provisions can be structured in many ways, such as increasing distributions upon reaching a certain age, completing a degree, or, relevant to your question, getting married or having children. It’s important to remember that while incentives are allowed, the conditions cannot be illegal or against public policy – for example, a trust cannot require a beneficiary to divorce in order to receive funds.

How Can a Trust Specifically Reward Marriage?

Rewarding marriage within a trust can be achieved by structuring distributions to increase upon the beneficiary’s marriage. This might involve a one-time lump sum payment, an increase in annual income, or access to trust assets previously held in reserve. For example, a trust could state that a beneficiary receives $50,000 upon their 30th birthday, but that amount increases to $100,000 if they are legally married at that time. However, it’s crucial to consider the potential for unintended consequences. What if the beneficiary *chooses* not to marry? Or marries late in life? Thoughtful drafting should include contingencies, such as provisions for long-term committed relationships or the attainment of other relationship milestones. Furthermore, as a San Diego estate planning attorney, I always advise clients to ensure such provisions do not inadvertently create a financial disincentive for beneficiaries to enter into healthy, loving relationships.

Can a Trust Encourage or Reward Parenting?

Similarly, trusts can be structured to reward parenting milestones, such as the birth or adoption of a child, or even the achievement of certain educational goals by the child. Distributions could be tied to the child’s enrollment in college, graduation from high school, or even the attainment of good grades. However, this area requires particularly sensitive drafting. It’s vital to avoid creating conditions that could pressure a beneficiary into having children they are not ready for, or that could discriminate against beneficiaries who choose not to have children. “We’ve seen cases where overly strict parenting incentives have caused significant family discord,” I’ve observed. “The key is to focus on supporting positive outcomes, not dictating life choices.” According to a recent survey, nearly 20% of families with significant wealth are now incorporating values-based incentives into their estate plans, including those related to family and education.

What Went Wrong for the Reynolds Family?

I once worked with the Reynolds family, where the patriarch, a successful entrepreneur, wanted to incentivize his son to “carry on the family legacy” by having children and instilling certain values. The trust was drafted with a substantial distribution contingent upon the birth of each grandchild, coupled with provisions requiring proof of the child’s enrollment in private school. Initially, the son was thrilled, and a daughter was born. However, the pressure to have more children – and to afford the increasingly expensive private school – created immense stress and resentment. The son felt controlled, and the relationship with his father deteriorated. He confided in me that the incentive had become a source of anxiety, not joy. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his daughter, but he resented the implied condition attached to his happiness. The situation required delicate negotiation and a substantial amendment to the trust to remove the contingent provisions and allow for more flexible support.

How the Millers Found Success with a Values-Based Trust

In contrast, the Miller family approached estate planning with a different mindset. They wanted to encourage their daughter to pursue her passions and build a fulfilling life, whatever that might look like. Their trust included a provision for increased distributions upon the achievement of personal and professional goals, such as completing a graduate degree, starting a successful business, or dedicating time to charitable work. They *also* included a modest incentive for the birth or adoption of a child, but it was framed as a gift, not a requirement. The daughter thrived, pursuing her dream of becoming a veterinarian. When she had a child, the trust provided additional support, but it never overshadowed her own achievements. The Millers’ story illustrates that a well-crafted trust can be a powerful tool for fostering family values and supporting the next generation, without imposing undue pressure or control. It’s about creating a framework for growth and opportunity, not dictating life choices.”


Who Is Ted Cook at Point Loma Estate Planning Law, APC.:

Point Loma Estate Planning Law, APC.

2305 Historic Decatur Rd Suite 100, San Diego CA. 92106

(619) 550-7437

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